November 25, 2009
There are many scenarios which cause relationship breakdowns. The inevitable outcome for married couples is divorce. Many divorce cases can be protracted, acrimonious battles, whilst others are more amicable.
Whatever the reasons for divorce, couples separating will undergo varying degrees of emotion involving; anger, frustration, revenge, feelings of failure, and ‘what ifs.’ Just to mention some of the most obvious.
Even the most rational and objective people, may find it very difficult, or even impossible, when dealing with such emotional turmoil, to step back from the situation and ‘manage’ the process in their usual objective, efficient way.
It is therefore, essential to seek suitable divorce advice. There are obvious reasons for this, to do with the due process of law. However, there can also be other positive reasons which may help with such emotional overloads.
When the facts in a divorce case are closely examined and scrutinized this will effectively isolate the main issues. This can be very difficult for some people to cope with. By opening an honest dialogue between yourself as client and your divorce solicitor, trust can be established.
A trustworthy relationship in this situation can have a most beneficial influence on individual emotional wellbeing in times of great stress. The professional can provide a framework, through unbiased advice and comment, which can help rationalise a lot of disturbed and wounded emotions. For many this can be the beginning of emotional recovery and even provide the stepping stones for a journey back to oneself.
November 24, 2009
Divorce is defying the recession in Europe, and offering new business opportunities to the eagle-eyed entrepreneur.
In Paris earlier this week, the first ‘New Start’ trade fair was held, with more than sixty businesses participating, and offering a wide variety of services to prospective ‘divorcers’. The fair organiser claims that the stigma associated with divorce is a thing of the past, as twice-divorced French President Nicholas Sarkozy shows. ‘New Start’ included conferences and talks on topics such as ‘Plastic Surgery’s role in re-conquering your image’ and, more mundanely, ‘Separation: what does a lawyer do?’
There were more than 130,000 registered divorces in France in 2007, compared to the UK’s 144,220.
Just over a year ago, UK divorce lawyers were reporting a surge in enquiries from the public, but actual numbers filing for divorce have dropped: a report in June this year confirms that while the property market is depressed, people are less likely to get divorced, for fear of losing out financially.
This doesn’t worry the organisers of ‘The Divorce Show’. Planning this new exhibition for February next year – after the traditional ‘marriage break-up season’ of Christmas and the New Year – they are expecting to attract more than 10,000 visitors to their exhibition at the NEC in Birmingham.
The Divorce Show will offer a chance to lawyers and counsellors to advertise their services, as well as to ‘self-help’ and ‘make-over’ specialists eager to help people, for a fee, to get their lives back on track.
November 16, 2009
R&B star Jamelia announced recently that she and her footballing husband Darren Byfield are getting a divorce after only 18 months of marriage.
Their relationship has always been rocky having split up in 2007 over his two month affair with a model, but the star-crossed lovers surprised everyone just one year later by finally tying the knot in October 2008.
It was obviously a decisive time for her as, after three successful albums and seven top ten singles and countless awards with Parlophone, she split with her record company, citing lack of commercial support for her third album ‘Walk With Me’.
She has never been happy with her role as a footballers’ wife however, calling WAGs pathetic and empty-headed.
“You never see them with their kids, just with shopping bags”
Despite having a strong start to his footballing career with Walsall, Rotherham and Gillingham, Jamaican born Byfield’s rocky relationship to the pop star clearly affected his performance on the pitch playing for 5 different clubs in the last 3 seasons and scoring only 29 goals in over 100 matches.
It’s only now, back at his old stomping ground at Walsall that his form is beginning to pick up again.
A spokesman for the couple confirmed:
“It is with regret that Jamelia and Darren Byfield confirm they are splitting up and getting a divorce.”
“No one else is involved. Their priority is naturally their two children.”
Jamelia had said earlier this summer, that she and Darren hoped to have more children.
November 13, 2009
If you want to be successful with your divorce, you must relax, think it over and get good advice. Put your emotions aside, and focus on what you want and how to make the process less painful. The mistake made by many men is trying to show power when their ego has been bruised. When your partner has filed for divorce, you must not take it as a lawsuit. Anger and confusion causes us to interpret divorce in the wrong way. Most divorces do not just happen overnight for no reason. They happen for a reason. Divorce is the final solution to a problem that you have been arguing about with your partner for a long time. There are signs and warnings that tell if a marriage is headed for divorce. If a problem persists and compromise has failed, your partner may think otherwise.
As a rule, before you hire a divorce lawyer and sue your partner in court, you must try the business approach. Most men are good in business negotiation, but they lose their heads when it comes to negotiating a divorce. Your first thought is to treat your partner as a criminal, but this is wrong. Treat your partner as an unsatisfied business partner. When your partner has filed for divorce, accept her decision. William James (1842 – 1910) had this to say, “When once a decision has been made and execution is the order of the day, dismiss absolutely all responsibility, and care about the outcome”. Either way, you or your partner may be responsible for the divorce.However, when divorce papers have been served, this is not the time to crack your head about what you should have done to avoid the divorce. It is certainly not the time to point fingers and get depressed. It is certainly not a time to fight or fix your partner. You should care about the outcome of the divorce.
How do you take care of the outcome of your divorce? Well it is simple. Remember that there are tax deductions during a divorce and you should take advantage of them. Make sure that you present an argument that is favoured by the courts and your kids. Insist on providing financial support for your kids’ college education. The court will back this idea, and none of your money will go to your ex-wife’s personal expenses. Divorce requires life insurance cover for child support and alimony. The amount required is often high. What you need to know is that social security benefits can be used to cover child support costs and alimony. Therefore, if you want to avoid costs, you must use your existing social security benefits instead of buying expensive life insurance. Lastly, you must focus on explaining why the kids deserve to live with you. This is the best approach if you want to win child custody. These strategies will help you minimize or eliminate the costs of a divorce.
November 12, 2009
Making the decision
The decision to divorce is a painful one that usually happens in one of two ways.
The less traumatic of the two is when either or both parties come to realise that for them the marriage is no longer what they want, that they “have grown apart”
The second situation, far more dramatic, is triggered by a life changing event such as a change in financial situation or more commonly one of the parties meets somebody else or other life changing event.
After the decision
This is when the divorce lawyers are appointed.
Whatever the events that have led to the decision being made, for the sake of everyone concerned, especially when children are involved, the next stage needs to be handled correctly. A good relationship with your solicitor will make all the difference. He/she is looking after your interests and those of your children.
Listen to the advice that your solicitor/lawyer gives you, they are there to guide you through the legal divorce process, the level of their input will be set out clearly at the beginning, starting with a budget DIY divorce.
After the event
The period during the divorce proceedings is an incredibly emotive time for you and your family. Whatever triggered the actual event, once it is over and the divorcees can go their respective ways, it will be so much easier to start a new life if the divorce was well managed. A good divorce lawyer will be able to take a lot of the worry and the stress out of the practical arrangements and leave you to concentrate on getting on with your new life.
November 7, 2009
Cory Feldman, child star of ‘Lost Boys’ and ‘The Goonies’ is facing court proceedings after his wife of seven years, Susannah, filed for divorce on 22nd October due to ‘irreconcilable differences’.
They met in a Hollywood nightclub on Susannah’s nineteenth birthday, and Feldman proposed nine months later on Valentines Day 2002. That October the couple were married on the set of the show The Surreal Life (in a ceremony ordained by a Rabbi and MC Hammer) and later starred together in A&E reality show The Two Coreys with Feldman’s Lost Boys co-star Cory Haim.
It was Feldman’s second marriage after his divorce from actress Vanessa Marcil in 1993, and one that he claims responsible for his recovery from depression and substance abuse.
Last year he said:
Six years together and we’re still in love. Whereas I used to get depressed or neurotic or dwell on things, I see my son’s bright eyes and smile in the morning, and suddenly, I don’t feel like I’m depressed anymore. There’s nothing to be depressed about when you’ve got that.
Susannah is seeking legal and physical custody of their five year old son, Zen Scott Feldman, with an unspecified amount of spousal support plus aid with divorce lawyer fees. However she does wish to grant Cory visitation rights.
Feldman has now flown to South Africa to commence filming on Lost Boys 3.
November 6, 2009
John Cleese has recently announced his new one man show. ‘The Alimony Tour Year One’, as a means of rebuilding his bank balance after an extremely costly divorce from his third wife, Alyce.
There is no doubt that divorce is a costly business both psychologically and financially. The role of lawyers and solicitors during a divorce is to reach an equitable and acceptable agreement between the parties involved. Of course, people’s perception of what is equitable is rarely the same. As a result, the situation becomes a battleground. Zsa Zsa Gabor once said, ”I’m an excellent housekeeper. Every time I get divorced I get to keep the house.” Unfortunately the “I’ll take them for every penny” attitude often results in extended and expensive negotiation, and lasting resentment which can be particularly destructive if there are children involved, since their futures can be harmed irrevocably.
The role of the divorce lawyer is to represent their client’s interest. In the case of the likes of Cleese and Gabor the situation might be very complex; where the notion of ‘equitable’ involves questions such as “How do we divide up the homes in London, Paris and New York ? Or do you get the Ferrari or the roller?” However in most cases, the decisions are more about vitally important issues: about surviving the divorce and rebuilding lives. Divorce is no comedy, but with help and support of professional legal advice, divorce doesn’t have to be a lifelong tragedy.
November 5, 2009
She said see ya later boy.
Yet another popular celebrity couple have fallen victim to the trappings of early marriage. Canadian punk-pop princess Avril Lavigne and rocker Deryck Whibley are now officially over, as confirmed by Lavigne’s MySpace and website posts. Whibley’s band, Sum 41, also reported this on their blog.
On her website, Lavigne announced that she was separating from her husband of three years, but that they were both “moving forward on a positive note.” Divorce documents filed on October 9 show that Lavigne cited “irreconcilable differences” as the reason behind the breakup, and that she has requested to neither give nor receive spousal support. Luckily, they have no children together, and child custody need not be an issue on their divorce settlement.
The couple says that the parting was amicable, and that admiration and respect for each other still remain. But since the pair’s official split, theories have abounded over the cause of the divorce that came too soon, including: Deryck wanted a baby and Avril didn’t, Deryck was cheating on Avril, or the other way around, or both, or that Avril simply accepted that she wasn’t ready for a married life.
25-year-old Lavigne and Whibley, 29, began dating in February 2004, became engaged in June the following year, and were married in July 2006 in Montecito, California. This partnership then went on into music, with Whibley playing a huge role in Lavigne’s 2007 album, The Best Damn Thing. Rumor has it that they were also working on a follow-up.
Both artists are now working on their own albums, both to be released next year. Apparently Lavigne wants new songs that have no trace of Whibley’s songwriting. But do we still expect angsty yet empowering breakup songs from her? Ah, so much for her happy ending.